Igor Clark

… do people insist on putting toilet paper the wrong way round on the holder? It's really not even a question of preference, if you think about it - turned the other way, the strip presents itself for plucking, while this way you have to hunt around underneath the roll, like some sordid, snuffling subterranean troll. It's not computational fluid dynamics, people. It's simple efficiency.

Hang on then, better not just arrive at the airport and get on the ’plane. No, definitely better load yourselves up to the gunwales instead with supposedly-“reduced”, still-grotesquely-overpriced, indulgent shit you know you don’t need and can’t afford, but could probably buy on credit if you were to manage to allow yourself to be kidded into the delusion of “saving money” by the minor concessions made in the name of “growing the economy” by these manipulative, devious, exploitative corporate shitmongers. Much better that way, for everyone. Otherwise the gears just won’t keep turning, and we can’t have that.